You Will

In the cruelest of worlds, I write to let free a feeling
that is not yet named.
It lies within me, but will never be released.
I will control.
____________________________

Close your eyes and imagine a life
that is less perfect
and less beautiful
than the life you live.

Can you feel in your arms
a heavy brick, a heavy hold?

Can you feel in your heart
a tear, a tear on one side?

Do you feel a thick rock
pass through your throat
when an angel walks from you,
looking back but never smiling?
Together we know
Somehow
That this will never be alright

I do feel these things.
I do drag bricks across rivers
and I have learned to sew
with pieces of my heart.

And of all the things I could have written,
I continue to grin
I will not be held back
I will not be submissive.

It is my life to live
and yours to watch
and nod.

And You Will Nod.